Evanescent Felicity
by CeliaBlair24
Summary: To forget the past is to forget the friends she will never again see, so she chooses instead to cling onto her grief. Because memories now are the splitting strings of a long lost thread, and she can't bare the thought of loosing even one more piece of what she once had. Her sanity, she thinks, is only so important.


They began their journey on an early morning in late December, when winter has finally settled in. Snow crunches beneath their feet, and the chill of the air brushes across them in a caress that is far too cold to be comforting.

Silence stretches on for what seems like eons, awkward and uncomfortable. But no one dares to breach it, the promises laden within the frosted breaths brushing across reddened noses in place of words. This journey, _this_ is their comfort. The ride in which to bury their guilt, settle their doubt, and appease the anger clenching painfully around their hearts.

They needn't say a word. They all know it, the purpose for which they walk. Why they allow their boots to burrow through the snow, weary as they already were, tired as their limbs have become.

 _'Goodbye'_

Letters on a note barely the size of their palms, signed in red ink and left on an already-made bed.

It is all that needed to be said.

Because the truth of the matter is, goodbye is a much better send-off than ' _I might not return'._

* * *

Silence and solemnity, the eddying whims of their newfound reality.

It is not as she'd planned their journey would go, their failure in Beacon lapped at their boots continuously, uncaring of how far they'd traveled from the fallen academy.

They spent the first two weeks trekking through the mountain ranges of Sanus, and for a while, Ruby feared they were not making any headway. After all, the forest only thickened the further along they went, and though they eventually passed through the crumbling roads circling the mountains edge, the range seemed almost never-ending.

Nora comments, now and again, how like Mistral it all is. She points out the trees jutting out from solid rock as familiar, and the blue birds singing overhead as part of a past she would forsake to mention. Ruby doesn't question this, though, curious as she tends to be. Nora, by all means, is not an actress, and it's plainly obvious in her glimmering blue eyes just how tired she had become. She'd seen it, the way Nora tended to act, before. She'd seen it in her father of all people, her sister as well. It was the sweeping, haggard chord of depression, imprinted in dark rings around glassy, reddened eyes and the lackadaisical smile that spread just far too tight.

Ren reigns her in, mostly, when he's not too busy mulling over their map. Taking her hands in his and holding her close when the tremors in her shoulders become all too visible. Ruby doesn't comment on this, neither does Jaune for that matter. They let whatever happens pass with fleeting eyes, and, when the need is called for, assuring smiles. Nora appreciates those, at least, and so does Ren.

The journey, Ruby thinks, would be fine enough then… but then there's the matter of Jaune.

Sometimes- sometimes Ruby forgets Jaune is even there with them. He's sullen and so closed off, reserved in a way he had never been before. He assures her, every now and again, that he's okay, and Ruby finds that this bothers her exponentially more than Nora hanging onto her sanity by mere fringes. Because Jaune is a much better actor than Nora could ever hope to be, and the lies she pulls from his teeth are far more believable than the truth resounding deep within her head, the compressing, bloodied cage containing her heart.

And the shame of her elusiveness drip toxins in poisonous streams through her veins. Because she remembers it, the time, just days after they'd begin their journey when he stopped in the middle of the road, balancing aimlessly on flattened rock as he stared off into the distance. The sea of green, the splotches of gray twinkling through the foliage like stars under the light of the sun.

Ruby remembers how, for a moment, just that one moment, she was terrified he would fall.

"It's a long way down,"

She had said, smiling earnestly as she slowly guided him towards the middle of the beaten path. Jaune had nodded, but he hadn't spoken to her. Not until the night after, when she'd found him staring into the still-burning embers of their campfire, just as he had when they were still circling the edge of the mountain, one step away from the end of everything.

"I was just thinking of how it must've felt,"

He'd whispered, voice so soft she had to strain her ears to catch his every word. It was discomforting, how unlike himself Jaune sounded, throat clogged, bundled in the woolen covers of despair.

"Jaune?"

She'd asked, just that once and never again. Because he'd answered her, and she wished she'd never heard him say the words at all.

"I just… sometimes my mind wanders, Ruby. Sometimes my mind wanders and I think of what it might have felt like to- to die. Did it hurt? What did she think of? Did she have any regrets? I know, if I was in her place, I know I would"

Confidence, it slithers under his skin like a two-headed snake, giving to his haunted revere a sureness that both unsettled and scared her stiff.

"Oh,"

Was all she'd managed to say before rolling up the covers of her sleeping bag, curling into herself in a useless attempt to blot out his words, the truth of them ringing clearly; it never did quite work.

And now, here they were, circling the edge of yet another mountain. Nora bounces from one rock to another, mindful not to step on the path itself because _the floor is lava_ _and she rocks at the game_. Ren trails after her, apologizing every so often when her palms stretch too far out and accidentally whack her or Jaune- mostly her- in the face.

There's a calm sort of quiet that permeates the air now, mingling with the scent of old snow and pine trees. It's not comforting, Ruby figures it may never truly be, but she can live with this at least. There is no rush for her to speak, and there is no rush for her to be spoken to. It's weird, but it's something she's not opposed to, if only because it eases her conscience, allows for her mind to wander...

"Ruby?"

Jaune's greeting is brittle, coalescing feigned cheer with the undercurrents of trepidation.

"What's it?"

And if Ruby's responding smile is a bit too tight, neither of them say a word about it.

"So, Ren and I talked for a bit, and uh, he told me that we should be nearing the end of the range"

"The end of the range?"

Ruby asks, and Jaune grins, thin-lipped and entirely unconvincing.

"Yeah. He told me, you know, to warn me of it."

Ruby stops then, feet planted firmly onto the slabs of unmaintained rock that made out their only path towards the docks that would take them to Anima. Ren, so far ahead yet ever observant, reaches out and takes Nora by the arm, halting her in her tracks. Her undignified yelp, and protests die away in favor of the sound of Ruby's own beating heart and Jaune's uncharacteristic silence.

"What are you talking about?"

Jaune frowns, brows knitted and eyes narrowed in a way that made him appear so much older than he was.

"It, Jaune. I mean the 'it', what's that?"

Jaune turns, Ruby guesses, to share a look with Ren. Ren's voice then broaches through the tension, ever calm and calming in effect, yet no less reproachful in tone.

"Ruby, we'll be nearing the end of the range soon enough. From there, we'll trek through the forest until we reach the sea,"

"I know that, Ren, I just- I'm confused. What did you need to warn Jaune about? I mean, I get that we'll be onto the next leg of the journey and all that, but, I don't really get what there is to be warned…"

Ruby trails off, stopping entirely when she catches Ren's eyes flickering over to Nora's, darkened magenta narrowed in what she could almost describe as exasperation… but that can't be right. Right?

Ren sighs.

"The Grimm, Ruby"

Jaune states, startling the supposed-to-be huntress out of her own box of confusion.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Jaune grits out, turning from her with fast-blinking eyes and clenched fists. Ruby, still confused, stands rooted to her spot, head tilted as she struggles to put together the pieces of their conversation.

"Wait, Jaune-"

Ruby starts, words a single decibel away from a scream.

"Nothing, it's nothing Ruby, okay? Forget about it."

Jaune waves her off quickly enough, long legs taking longer strides, allowing him to catch up and eventually overtake the still standing Ren and Nora. Narrowed silver orbs trail after the red sash tied to his waste, left flickering in the wind as he circuits the bend around the mountain.

"Ren?"

The teen shakes his head slowly, giving her a small smile that is just this side of strained.

"Later,"

He mouths, pulling at Nora's arm and practically dragging her along the path in an attempt to catch up with their leader. Nora allows him, which is surprising in itself, but not as much as her silence and the slump of her shoulders as she utterly refuses to look at her.

Ruby wonders then, what it was that she did wrong.

* * *

The night isn't completely silent, and that's a first.

They'd finally made their way through the mountain pass, and though it had taken them the better half of a day, the adrenaline washed away any of the fatigue they might have felt because of this.

The smell of broth wafts through the camp from the opened lid of their travel-pot, filled as it is by some wild bird Ren had caught only hours earlier. Honestly, Ruby was sure that had Ren chosen to stay behind in Vale, she, Nora and Jaune would be toast. None of them knew how to hunt, much less clean or cook what they'd hunted. Foraging for berries and mushrooms was just about the only thing the three of them were actually any good at, and they were in the middle of winter...yeah.

The smell of the meat was, and she wasn't kidding, heavenly. Ren had mentioned how his Mom had taught him the basics of cooking anything and everything (just about the only time he mentioned his mother or anyone from his family, really) and he'd just gone on from that. She wasn't convinced by his modesty though, and she was sure that had he tried, he would even make her salivate over Velvet Shanks and those taste _like **dirt.**_

"Pass me those, yes, the packs- the bowls are in there"

Nora jumps over from the far side of the camp, balancing four bowls in one hand. She's grinning, perhaps the widest grin Ruby has seen grace her lips since Beacon as she practically stampedes her way to her partner.

"Here!"

She announces, blue eyes sparkling in barely retained excitement. Another louder, much deeper groan of excitement follows soon after, and Nora pats her belly almost tenderly, giving Ren a pointed look.

"Patience, Nora"

But Ruby could almost hear the smile in Ren's voice as he says this, his tone far too light to be scolding. Affectionate, she thinks the word is, watching as Ren serves the broth and a good chunk of the meat into the first bowl before giving it to his partner, who only just manages to restrain herself from tackling him at the sight of the spill-able bowl.

"Thank you!"

She cheers, rushing away in a blur of white and pink. Ruby's sure she hadn't imagined it, the way Ren's eyes trailed after her, crinkled back and dancing under the firelight in what she could almost call happiness. It's the first time, she thinks, she'd ever seen such _visible_ emotion from the usually reserved teen.

"Hey,"

Ruby startles at the voice, nearly toppling over the log she'd called her seat from the moment they arrived in the clearing.

"J-Jaune!"

She breathes, a hand on her chest, fingers twitching against the roughened fabric of her cloak.

"You scared me!"

She laughs, somehow not nervously. Her silver eyes flicker to his, catching them glimmer under the firelight in barely repressed mirth.

"Jerk"

She mumbles, poking her tongue at the blonde when he starts laughing- well- giggling, really.

"Let's get some food?"

Jaune asks, offering her a hand. To that, unconscious as it was, her lips broaden into an almost-grin.

"You know, walking up to people and talking to them suddenly in the middle of a really dark forest is mean"

Her hand slips into his easily enough, though he pulls her up with a huff, red in the face with blue orbs practically sparkling.

"And making me lift you off dead feet is kind of mean too, but you don't see me complaining"

Ruby smiles innocently, linking their fingers and pulling him towards Ren, who has two filled bowls clutched in each hand. He watches them, Ruby'd guess, in amusement, the smallest of smiles tugging at his lips.

"Dinner?"

Jaune nods, letting his hand slip from her own before reaching out and taking his share of the food.

"Smells good,"

He grins, thanking his teammate with a dramatic bow before waddling off, spoon already reaching towards his lips.

"He's excited"

Ruby comments, watching as Jaune slumps into his seat besides Nora, a satisfied grin barely covered by the rim of his bowl. Ren nods in agreement, taking his own share of the broth with a long fingered hand, eyes lingering on his teammates for only a moment before he slowly drags them back to Ruby herself, who stands resolutely in front of him.

"Thanks... for the broth, I mean"

Ruby explains hastily when Ren raises his brows, a nervous laugh ringing hollow, dying long before it slips past her lips.

"Something troubles you,"

Ren says, setting aside his uneaten meal. Ruby, fingers curled around her own, cooling broth, eyes him warily, a nervous smile pulling her lips taut.

"N-no, it's nothing. I mean, I-I am fine, all good, you know!"

Ren's unconvinced, she knows, but he lets her get away with it anyways. His smile turning the lightest shade of reassuring, as slowly, he picks back up the bowl he'd set down, ready to eat. Ruby sighs.

"Thanks for the food,"

She mumbles, clutching her bowl to her chest as she turns away from Ren, making her way to her seat, freezing cold and frosted over as it had become.

' _Guess I was gone a bit too long'_ , she thinks miserably, settling in and using her cloak as a cushion to protect herself from the chill. With another long, quieted sigh, Ruby lets her gaze wander from the no-longer steaming surface of her soup. Nora is rushing for seconds, tripping over her own two feet with an empty bowl swinging in her hand. Jaune, he's left sitting alone, back facing the twisted bark of an elm tree, staring despondently to his right, the frosted emptiness of the log beside him.

Ren- she doesn't look back at Ren. She could feel it anyways, the familiar magenta orbs eyeing her, in worry or pity, she doesn't dare turn to tell. She can live with the curiosity, she thinks, at least this time around.

The meat, tender as it turns out to be, tastes like frozen air and the sudden sullenness of everything.

* * *

Scuffling, she hears scuffling in the dead of night.

Boots plowing through iced snow and gravel, and the faintest clang of metal on stone. Ruby wakes with a start, silver eyes blown wide as she shuffles onto her feet, the covers of her sleeping bag left pooled around her.

"Guys?"

She calls out, brows furrowed as she tries to see through the darkness of the campsite. The campfire had gone out hours before, its dying embers left sitting in the middle of a circle of blackened rocks. She hears a sound from nearby, snaking through the silence- the soft rustling of cloth.

"Ruby?"

It's Nora, she realizes, her voice hoarse with the residues of sleep. Walking over to the pink- and she does question the color choice at times, bright as it is- sleeping bag just barely visible under the dull light of the shattered moon.

"Why're you awake?"

The ginger asks, words tumbling out in a slur. Groggily, she brings her hand up to her eyes, rubbing softly, as if to brush off the tiredness clinging to her still. Ruby sighs, breath ending in a stutter when she hears that same scuffling again.

"Something's out there,"

Ruby frowns, voice barely higher than a whisper. Nora wakes fully then, a spark in her blue eyes not unlike the flash and crackle of lightning.

"I hear it."

She murmurs, a low, guttural thing. She's on her feet and armed in seconds, Magnhild unfolded and charged for battle. This surprises Ruby, though she doesn't say anything of it. Instead she scans the clearing, her eyes finally adjusting to the darkness of everything. Past the remains of their campfire lays Jaune, curled into himself, the cover of his sleeping bag raised right up to his nose-undisturbed. Beside him are their bags, all packed and ready for the continuation of their journey in the morning, and opposite those is Ruby's own abandoned sleeping bag, a dark red under the moonlight slithering through the leafless branches of the trees surrounding them.

Impossibly, Ruby's frown deepens, confusion settling an uncomfortable weight on her shoulders. There's nothing out of place, dark as the night is, everything is as they'd left it before they'd gone to- a breath hitched, the sound cutting through the cool air, sharp as a knife and utterly terrified.

"Ren!"

Nora breaks into a run almost immediately, Ruby lagging at her heels as the older girl brushes past the looming sequoias, dread oiling her boots, quickening her pace impossibly.

"Ren!"

Nora calls out, and she sounds so close to tears. She's hysterical, Ruby thinks, though she herself isn't so far from the feeling. She remembers it hazily, though she'd seen it only seconds before. An empty sleeping bag spread out by the far edge of their campsite, shaken off most likely, left crinkled atop rocks by the trunk of the lone elm tree.

"Ren, where ar-"

Nora's gasps, coming to an abrupt halt. Ruby grinds her boots into the forest floor, having been on the fringe of using her semblance to give herself a boost.

"Nora wh-what..."

Ruby stutters, hands behind her, grappling for the familiarity of Crescent Rose. Her fingers brush cool metal, but just as she is about to unlatch the clasp of her holster, she hears a _roar._

A Beringel, half as tall as the surrounding tree's and as wide as four of them tied together. It thumps its fists against its armored chest, its sharp teeth glimmering silver-white from beneath the cracked edges of it's bone-like mask.

"Damn"

Ruby swallows, scythe now released and clutched tightly between her trembling hands. In front of her, Nora braces herself, grenade launcher aimed for the unarmored flesh beneath the beasts covered chest.

"Wait, Nor-"

She fires, rolling to the side as soon as the attack hits, Magnhild cocked on the crook of her shoulder, this time aimed for the beast's head. Only, she doesn't get to shoot. Just as Nora's fingers brush the underside of her trigger, the Beringel tumbles to the ground, the bright, bleeding red of its eyes darkening as its flesh frays and dissipates into ash. Twin green sickles protrude from the unguarded sides of the grimm's head, Ren, with his legs firmly planted on both the beasts shoulders, panting visibly as the last of the Beringel burns into nothing.

"Ren,"

Ruby sighs, relief flooding through her as she swiftly tucks her weapon away, glad for once that she hadn't needed to use it. She hears metal clattering onto the ground, and when she lets her eyes drift towards the sound, she sees Magnhild laying abandoned and, not three steps from there, Nora burrowing herself into Rens' arms. She's crying, Ruby quickly realizes, her sobs barely muffled by the fabric of Ren's coat.

"It's okay, I'm here"

She hears him say, repeating the words, a mantra seemingly never-ending.

"I'm here"

He whispers, fingers threading through the knotted ends of Nora's hair, his lips a hairs breadth from her ear. And all too suddenly Ruby feel like she's an intruder, watching something she wasn't ever meant to see. So slowly, she steps away, combat boots barely making a sound against the dampened dirt. A step turns into two, then four, then eight, and as quickly as she'd turned, she finds herself back in the safety of their campsite, Jaune still sleeping and the campfire still dead. She heaves another, long suffering sigh, adrenaline draining completely from her being, letting rest a deep seeping fatigue.

"Night,"

She whispers to the darkness and nothing else as she sinks into the familiarity of her sleeping bag, long used to the chill of the covers and the discomfort of the solid ground beneath. She drifts off as soon as her eyes flutter shut, sleep taking her into a world of neither dreams nor reality.


End file.
